


Horses and Heartache

by BrokenWings395



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cityboy!Castiel, Cityboy!Gabriel, Equestrain!Dean, Equestrain!Sam, Gabriel is Castiel's brother, Heartache, Horses, I'm so sorry, Lots and Lots of Horses, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7196222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenWings395/pseuds/BrokenWings395
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was a cityboy sent to a stable for the summer for an increase in responsibility. Instead, he met a hot cowboy named Dean Winchester and his brother, Sam, a professional in taming wild horses. But, as Cas and Dean seem to have their happy ending, love turns into mayhem. Will Castiel get Dean back or will he be alone for the rest of his life?</p><p>*This fanfic is currently on hiatus*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Newcomer

     Dean just finished brushing down his horse, Impala, her black coat glistening like copper. He stroked her muzzle softly before gathering the tools and heading out of her stall. He locked it and walked towards the tack room, putting the tools under Impala's saddle. Dean walked outside to see a black car pulling into the stable's entrance. By the looks of the car, shiny with no dirt marks, clearly from the city. It must be the new stable hand from the city here for the summer camp. Dean headed over to greet the newcomer. Out popped a boy with dark brown hair and wearing a vest. Dean walked over and held out his hand, "I'm Dean, the owner of Winchester Stables, and you are?" Castiel became intimidated by the hot cowboy standing in front of him, "Uh, my name is Castiel, Castiel Novak." Dean smiled, "Let me help you with those bags." Dean picked up the two heaviest ones and left the lightest for Castiel. "Just follow me, I lead you to the bunkhouses," Dean said, grunting a little with the added weight. Dean walked over to the closest bunkhouse and unlocked it, walking inside to set the bags down on the bed. "I know, it's pretty roomy but make yourself comfortable, also, I have a list for you," Dean said, walking over to the smaller boy and handing him the list, "Just what you should expect to do here and, change please, you won't survive a day in that over priced crap." Dean smiled like it was nothing and headed back towards the stable, "My brother's taming a mustang that came in from Colorado, I'll be with him at the southern arena, come get me if you need anything." Castiel followed Dean. While he had been left with the lightest, it was still fairly heavy for Cas and he grunted. The sun was beating down on him already, making him sweat. "Am I the only one for the summer camp?" He asked before seeing the list and scrunching his nose. He read the list and bit his pink bottom lip. He didn't have any of these kinds of clothes. Perhaps he could text or call his parents...Castiel scrunched his nose "I'll have you know that this is not crap!" He insisted as he brushed his clothes off. Part of Castiel wanted to go and watch the horse being tamed but not in this heat. "What if I have nothing to wear?" He asked as he opened up the suitcase that held his clothes.

  1.        "Woah, Raphael! Calm down!" Sam said as the troublesome bay stallion reared and galloped to the other side of the arena. Dean sat on the fence and chucked, "Having fun, Sam?" Sam mustered up a smile, "He's the wildest we've had since Michael!" Raphael bucked and ran away from Sam and the long haired brunette sighed, walking over to Dean in exhaustion. "He's hard to tame, always finding someway to get away from me," the younger sibling said, eyeing Raphael as he trotted over to Lucifer's isolated pen. "I also saw that new kid, he's here for the summer right?" Said Sam, watching the kid head out of the bunkhouse. "Yeah, that's him," said Dean, stealing a glance at Castiel every second. "You like him don't you?" Teased Sam. "What?! N-No, I don't!" Dean confronted his younger brother. Sam just chuckled and went back to handling Raphael. Impala let out a shrill whinny at her owner. "I'm not cheating on you, Baby!" Dean yelled as he headed over to her stall. He rubbed the white strip on her muzzle softly while feeding her an apple.
  2.        Castiel let his curiosity get the best of him. He didn't have any country clothes as he had only been raised in the city and taught to value materialistic things. He squinted at the sun, searching for a phone line somewhere as he raised his cellphone in vain but couldn't establish a signal. It was too hot and Castiel grew sheepish, going inside the bunker to take off the vest and tie, undoing the top two buttons of his shirt as he realized there was no air conditioning in the bunker. He'd have to sleep naked as to not die of heat stroke! He came back out and walked to the fence, hands in his pockets as he watched Sam and the mustang as well as Dean heading over to another horse. Horses had confused and frightened Castiel. He hadn't been able to see one in person and now he was nervous, a bit scared that he would get teased for his clothes or hurt by a horse. Dean saw Castiel walk over and waved to him, "Hey, Cas!" Dean gave Impala one last rub before heading over to the boy, the little black pony, Crowley, snorting at the newcomer. "That's enough, Crowley," Dean said to the stubborn little pony, who also snorted at the smallest pony, Gabriel, who was trotting by with a stolen bridle. Dean grabbed the bridle and Gabriel played tug of war with him. That horse acts like a dog, Dean always said, and he was always right. It seemed to be that Gabriel didn't know he was a pony.
  3.       Then , an echo of "Raphael!" was heard when the stallion whizzed by Sam, knocking the brunette down onto his back. Sam got up like it was nothing and the other horses whinnied at his fall, seemingly at Raphael's success at outwitting the younger sibling. Heck, even Lucifer was whining at Sam. Castiel watched all the horses and ponies as he couldn't help but be nervous. He saw Dean and waved back but he didn't smile. The stallion was racing towards the part of the fence that Castiel was near and he stumbled back, trembling nervously. The boy didn't speak often. He was an older teenager and still in a summer camp. He had only one friend and that was Balthazar, his grey cat that his parents made stay at home. He missed the cat now as it always kept him calm. These two brothers seemed to have no control over the horses, especially the stallion that was charging toward Castiel. The poor kid stumbled back so fast that he tripped over a rock and fell right into the dirt. Mortified, he jumped up and closer to the mustang as he tried to dust off his expensive clothing. The city boy was truly a train wreck.    
  4.        Dean chucked at Castiel's fall, "You okay?" He helped the boy dust off his clothes before asking, "I have one tiny request of you. Sam's beloved mare, Jessica, has a foal due this week and he's going to be in Nevada for a rodeo. Bronco calming, what he calls it. Sam won't be here when the baby is born and he doesn't want any harm to come to the foal. Can you check her stall? Tell me anything that needs to be repaired or removed." Dean looked at the beautiful palomino mare grazing in the pasture, her stomach heavily bloated. "There are names above the stalls so you won't have any trouble finding her stall," Dean said as Sam walked over leading their bay roan gelding, Adam. "I'm going to lunge him, he still is refusing to put any pressure on that leg," Sam explained, pointing to the leg Adam was limping on. Dean nodded and stroked Adam's forehead, sensing Castiel's nervousness towards the horses. He chuckled, "The horses will sense you're nervous and become nervous too, the best way to fit in is to remain calm." Adam nudged Castiel's arm, Dean smiling at Adam's affection, "You can pet him." Castiel blushed when Dean was helping him dust himself off. He listened to what Dean had said and looked up at him, worry in his eyes. "I don't know anything about horses. How will I know what's safe in a stall?" He asked nervously. He wanted to see a foal. It would be a horse young and clumsy like himself. He wondered which horse was the father of the unborn foal but he didn't ask. Castiel swallowed thickly as he was suddenly crowded by the two country boys and a horse. A tall horse. One taller than him. He nodded as he tried to clear his head and calm down. He felt his cheeks redden as the two brothers were watching him. He was embarrassed and clearly out of his element. If only they saw him in the city going up and down escalators. They'd be the lost puppies then. He closed his eyes and slowly stroked Adams head gently, biting his lip. And the boys didn't have clothes Castiel could borrow? He opened his eyes a little, the ocean blue eyes sparkling as he watched Adam, his nervousness growing again. Sam seemed to noticed Castiel becoming nervous again, "I bet you've only been around horses pulling carriages, not to be offensive, and stuff like holes, wasp nests, loose nails or boards, anything sharp in the stall, is what you should look for. And do you have any proper clothes?" After seeing Castiel become worried at the question, Sam chuckled, "Dean has some extra clothes from when he was younger, you still have them right?" Dean nodded, and headed towards the house to get them. Adam rubbed his nose gently on Sam's cheek, and Sam shooed him off, "That's enough, Adam, now, let's get you on that leg again." Sam led Adam to the paddock, Castiel on the other side of Adam. Sam stood in the middle of the paddock and clicked Adam into a trot, a very clumsy trot. "Come on, Adam, it ain't so bad that you can't walk on it!" Every gait the horse went into, Adam still didn't let that hoof touch the ground.
  5.        Castiel tilted his head as he watched Adam after Dean left but soon headed into the stable. Upon walking past, Lucifer head butted Castiel and he fell forward, grunting. Picking himself up again, he hurried inside the stables and looked around to try and find Jessica's stall. As he did, he looked around, spotting a wasp nest above Crowley's which was near Jessica's and he sighed. "Please don't tell me I have to knock it down." He begged as he slowly moved inside the empty stall and began to feel the walls to look for sharp nails, probably not the right way to go about it. All Castiel knew was that a really pretty boy was going to give him clothe, surely Dean wasn't too much older. Surely neither brothers had caught on to his blushing when Dean had touched him. It was day one of a few months and he already found the cowboy cute. Ruby seemed to whinny at Lucifer's way of saying hello, the black mare head butting the stallion back. Dean headed back with the clothes and handed them to Castiel, who then pointed at the wasp nest above Crowley's stall. Dean nodded and proceeded to get the wasp killer, the really expensive kind. He led Crowley into the pasture and sprayed the nest, the dead wasps falling to the floor and the nest following after. "Thanks, Cas, Sam can't bear to lose this foal, the father died sometime ago, I named the stallion Sam, after my brother. Broken leg that would never heal, had to be put down," Dean said, looking at the empty stall with flowers adoring it, the pure silver plate saying 'Sam'. Dean cleaned up the stall and headed to Impala, who nickered at her owner, rubbing her head gently against his chest. "Hey, Baby, how are you?" Dean said, treating his mare like her majesty, the queen. He spoiled that mare rotten, ever since Dean got her. "You might want to go change now, we're washing Mary today and the other ponies, riding lessons." Crowley whinnied at the lessons part, for a little girl had fallen in love with him and was giving him apples every time she came. Crowley was going to get fat, Dean just knew it. Castiel nodded as his cheeks stayed red. Why couldn't he get them to cool down? He turned and headed back to the bunker where he'd be alone. There, he struggled with the door as it didn't seem to want to stay shut. "I'm nineteen years old and my parents still control me." He muttered as he gave up with the door opening just a crack. He sighed and began to get changed. His body was a fair skin tone but still on the paler side from lack of going outside. He was slightly muscled and he was a tad defined but probably nowhere near the same as Dean or Sam. At that moment, Castiel with his shirt off and pulling on deans pants, a large dog ran in and the door was wide open for Dean and Sam to see the half naked boy. "Agh!" He grunted as the dog toppled him over and proceeded to shower him with slobber and kisses. Dean saw the border collie race after the boy, he whistled for the dog, "Misha! Here boy!" The black collie came running back, panting heavily. Dean patted the dog on the head and Misha ran towards the older hound, Jared. The shaggy furred dog lifting his head up in confusion. Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed Crowley's lead rope, and clicked for the pony. As always, Crowley came trotting and he clipped the lead on, leading Crowley to a wash stall. Dean hitched Crowley to the lead hanging from the ceiling of the wash stall. He grabbed a sponge and dipped it in the soapy water he prepared, then scrubbing the pony's coat. He finished washing the pony's hooves when Castiel walked over, Dean blushed furiously at how good Castiel looked in the clothes.
  6.        "Y-You look good, Cas," Dean said under his breath, not making eye contact with Cas. Castiel finished throwing the clothes on before going back to the stables. The stables were beautiful and Castiel would have loved them if horses hadn't frightened him. Castiel hadn't thought he would have gotten a rise out of Dean and he blushed when he saw how Dean was acting. "Are you warm Dean?" He asked as he played the clueless card as to the blushing. He hadn't ever been nicknamed and he smiled as he blushed. "Thank you." He said as he shyly reached out to pet Crowley and wash his mane shyly. He knew the mane was hair and he knew how to wash hair, his mother being a hairdresser, so he assumed it was relatively the same thing. "Y-you're welcome," Dean said, cursing at his clumsiness in words. He handed Castiel a brush to brush Crowley's mane and tail. He blushed again when Castiel brushed his hand while grabbing the brush. Why was he so sensitive all of the sudden!? Oh god, did he have a crush!? The way Castiel's eyes sparkled in the sunlight, the pale skin wanting sunlight, the way his hands moved, the lips that didn't seem to chap. Dean loved it all and couldn't come to terms with his school girl like crush. "Thanks for helping," he muttered, Misha whizzing past to chew on Jensen's ear, the older dog barking at the energetic border collie. Crowley snorted at Dean when he put a pink bow on his tail, Dean laughing at Crowley's reaction. "
  7.       "You want to look pretty for that girl today, do ya?" He teased the pony, grabbing a carrot from his pocket and feeding it to him. Dean was so lighthearted that it made Castiel chuckle "I'd say you look adorable." He teased the pony as he slowly ran the brush through his mane. Castiel still felt the touch of Dean on his hand, his cheeks red all the while. They hadn't paled since he met Dean which was embarrassing. He didn't even know if Dean liked him. He was city and Dean screamed of the west. Cas knew he'd return to the stables over breaks and things if something developed but he was beginning to be accustomed to the small pony. That was until Crowley stepped on Castiel's foot. "Ah!" He jerked his foot away, not broken but just a bit sore. Crowley swished his tail in amusement and Castiel bit his bottom lip to try and stop himself from pouting. His blue eyes were filled with the sharp sense of pain and he took a step back to give the pony some space.
  8.        "Crowley, that was not nice," teased Dean, walking over to Castiel to check. "Are you okay?" He asked, scared about the foot. Castiel said nothing was broken and Dean warned him about brushing and washing the bigger horses. Their hooves will break your foot. Dean felt the blush creep up onto his face and he immediately turned away, not wanting Cas to see the rosy red cheeks and ears. He unhitched Crowley and tied him up to a hitching post, the little girl needed to learn how to saddle Crowley herself. "I'm going riding later, Baby needs her exercise, wanna come with me?" Dean asked, Impala nickering at him. Castiel bit his lip as he followed the cowboy with interest. "Sounds good...but I don't know how to ride." He said as he nervously rubbed his hands together. Part of him wanted to retreat into the city and repress all memories of this but the man, Dean, couldn't be forgotten. Even if nothing happened, Castiel was still attracted to the older man. He knew he had no chance with him. They came from two totally different worlds and there was a five year age gap between them. Surely Dean didn't want any part of the self entitled city boy.




	2. Getting Settled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel gets a lot more comfortable around Dean and Dean's crush on Cas is getting out of control.

       Sam walked into the stable holding a rag to his face, Dean racing over. He pried the rag away and saw a large gash, "Raphael pushed me into the fence and a loose nail sticking out caught my face." Castiel looked over at the sound of something going on. He saw blood and promptly turned away before he could pass out. He did not cope well with blood. He didn't know how common it was around here but if it happened frequently, he would kill his brother for this. "Here, let me get the alcohol wipes," Dean said as he headed to the tack room to get the first aid kit. Michael nudged Sam's arm to see if he was okay, "I'm okay, buddy." Sam saw Castiel's look and said, "Don't worry, this doesn't happen often." Castiel nodded once. He did keep his back turned, both so he wouldn't see the blood and so they wouldn't see how pale he had gone. He felt weak there. Everyone else was capable of helping Sam but Castiel felt like passing out at the sight of blood. Dean hurried to patch the wound up, and the wound was cleaned and patched in under ten seconds.

      "There, be more careful, I don't want another accident to happen like what happened with Lucifer." Sam nodded and headed inside the large house. Dean turned to Castiel, "Sorry, heard from your brother you're sensitive to blood." Castiel took a shaky breath. "It's worse when the blood is your own. And now I have another reason to tell my brother off when I call him. I doubt that was a great impression you had of me before I came here." "I'm sorry, Cas," Dean said before the energetic border collie, Misha, came running through chasing Jensen, Jared walking behind him. "Really?" Dean said as the three dogs ran through. Castiel smiled as the dogs ran through. "Good news. I'm pretty sure Jess' stall is completely safe." Dean mustered a smile, "Thanks, that foal means a lot. You saw the stall covered in flowers right?" Castiel nodded. "The flowers are kind of difficult to miss," he said. "Yeah, his name was Sam, after my brother. He was a champion and a favorite among us. The foal Jessica's carrying is his last, for he was put down last month due to a shattered leg," Dean said, walking over to the stall and sniffing the roses one of his friends left. "Is that why this foal is so important," Castiel asked, approaching Dean and running a finger over a flower. "Yeah, we really loved that stallion, had him since he was a colt," Dean wiped a tear from his eye as he remembered the euthanizing of Sam. The poor horse didn't deserve it. "Sorry, too emotional for a tough guy like me, huh?" Dean joked as he backed away from the stall. Castiel shrugged. "I think it's nice that you cared so much. Better emotional than squeamish." "I don't know. But it doesn't matter if you are," Castiel said with a shrug, following him. Dean turned to Castiel, "You would like to go riding later?" Ruby nudged his arm to say, "Do you have anymore apples on you?" Dean laughed and rubbed the mare's muzzle, the Arabian backing away from the gate after her affection. "I've never actually ridden a horse," Castiel admitted. It was another thing that he severely lacked that he would probably need out here. "It's okay, I can teach ya," Dean said, winking, "I have a mare you can ride."

     He led Castiel over to Mary, the mare poking her nose out to sniff the newcomer. "You can pet her, she doesn't bite," Dean said, seeing as Castiel was somewhat afraid because of Raphael and Gadreel. Castiel pet Mary gently, still not keen on getting too close. He had heard how horses bit, or kicked, or a number of other things that could hurt him. "Good girl, Mary," Dean said, scratching the mare behind her ear. "You wait here, I'll get her tack." Dean told Castiel as he headed to the tack room, leaving the boy all alone with Mary. Castiel kept a hand on the mare, waiting impatiently for Dean. The sooner he could get away from the bitey end and the kicking end, the happier he would be, despite Dean's reassurances that she wouldn't bite. Dean picked up her western bridle but noticed a small curve in the bit, capable of cutting the sides of her mouth. He removed the bit and replaced it with a one better suited for Mary before bringing it out to Castiel, "Hold this while I get the saddle and saddle blanket." He went back in to get the heavy western saddle and blanket for Mary before heading outside to put on the saddle rack. Castiel watched him, having dropped his hand to his side. Every time Mary would nuzzle against his hair, he pulled away. Dean laid the blanket on top of the saddle before heading back to Castiel and Mary. He grabbed the purple lead rope handing next to her stall and clipped it on her purple halter, opening the stall door and leading her out.

      "Stay away from her backside, she kicks easily from her sensitivity," Dean warned as he led the mare to the hitching post next to the saddle rack. He tied her up before putting the blanket on her, then he put the heavy saddle on, pulling the girth tightly, but not tight enough to choke her. "Good girl, Mary," he said before asking Castiel to hand him the bridle. He handed it over and Dean held Mary still as he slipped the halter off, putting the bridle on before she could pull away. He struggled to get the bit in her mouth, the horses always disliked the piece of metal that went between their tongue and upper jaw.

        He handed the reins to Castiel before adjusting the stirrups, he he grabbed the reins and told Castiel to get on. "Need any help?" He asked as Castiel struggled to pull himself up. He chuckled and grabbed Castiel's thin waist and lifted him into the saddle, throwing the reins over Mary's head. Castiel grabbed on tight to the reins. One second he had been on the ground and the next he was somewhere higher. He had known horses were tall but it was different being on top. He wasn't afraid of heights, the change just surprised him. "Click your tongue and she'll walk ahead, steer her to the arena," Dean said as he walked to the arena, hearing Mary's hooves behind him. He looked back and saw Castiel trying not to fall. "Move with the horse's stride, make your body jello and let it move with the horse," Dean said as he waited at the arena entrance. He felt his phone buzz and it was Sam saying he was going out with someone, whose name sounded familiar. Castiel tried to listen to the instruction, making his way slowly to the arena. It didn't help that every time he tried to make the horse move one way, he got it mixed up, she tried to go the wrong way and overcompensated. But he soon reached the area Dean had told him to. "Good job, now walk her into the arena and stop in the middle, pull back on her reins to get her to stop," Dean said as he knew the name but was scared to tell Castiel that their brothers were dating. He wasn't going to tell. "Don't pull back very hard, or she'll get angry and frustrated." Castiel did as instructed, being very careful about pulling back the reins. He did not want to be on top of an angry horse. He had heard angry horses tended to throw people and he did not want that. He looked over at Dean once he stopped her. "Nice, now you just wait here, walk her around the arena if you want to but Baby needs her exercise, I'l bring her out," Dean went inside the stable and led Impala out, wearing nothing but her bridle. "She doesn't like saddles," he said plainly before mounting her and trotting her into the arena. Castiel didn't move from his spot while he waited for Dean to return. When he did, he started off slowly, hoping Mary would get the message. They were about halfway around and he didn't know what he did but she took off suddenly and Castiel could only hold on. Impala whinnied and Mary took off running to them. Dean whistled and Mary slowed to a walk, "No, Mary, no." Mary backed away and Impala entered the arena, her black coat shimmering. "Sorry about that, Mary and Impala are best friends," he said, rubbing the back of his head. Castiel was breathing heavily, heart racing. He had not expected that. He had been terrified. He tried to relax at Dean's explanation. He hoped it meant it wouldn't happen again. "I thought I did something wrong." "You did nothing, they just like to run together," Dean said as he walked Impala up beside Mary and Castiel. "Now, trot her, lift yourself out of the saddle every second so you don't bounce around in the saddle. Click your tongue two times," Dean demonstrated and lifted himself off Impala even though he didn't have a saddle on. Castiel tried to follow the instructions but on top of trying to not fall off, it all got confusing. He managed to do as Dean said but not without some difficulty. "Great, now you got the hang of it!" Dean said as he trotted alongside Castiel.

      "Listen, you know Gabriel and Sam are.... Uh..," Dean said looking down. "I'm not as blind as my brother thinks I am. He thinks he can keep things from me," Castiel said simply. "I know about our brothers, though I didn't know Sam was your brother until today." "So, you've heard of him from Gabriel haven't ya?" Dean said as he slowed Impala to a walk, watching as his brother left the stable in his black ford. "I've seen Sam a few times. Gabriel just said they were friends. Then they go out alone for hours. It's not that hard to work out what's going on." "Hehe, I saw the weird behavior too. I knew something was up," Dean said, laughing. Dean sent Impala into a small canter as the mare was getting frustrated at her cooped up energy. Castiel didn't have much choice when Mary sped up to keep up with her friend. "They keep thinking they are so sneaky. They don't have to be though." "I went to Sam's room one morning to tell him to wake up. He didn't respond so I walked into the bedroom, and there he was, sleeping with Gabriel almost completely naked," Dean said, that memory was burned into his brain. "That explains where he would disappear too overnight. It also explains how he found this place to come to," Castiel explained. "I was fed up with finding my brother with someone I didn't know about," Dean said, "Then, I met you." Dean realized what he was saying and what he was about to say and immediately shut himself up, his cheeks already rosy red. "Gabriel may be many things but he's not a bad person. I think he's a good guy for your brother." "Ya think so?" Dean asked as he slowed Impala to a stop. He nodded. "I also think it's about time my brother settled." Dean continued to stare at the boy, unaware that the blush had spread to his ears and nose. Castiel smiled at Dean. He had been here for only a few hours and he already felt more comfortable around Dean than he had anyone else. Dean felt his heart flutter at the smile. Castiel had such a pretty smile, he wanted him to stay forever. Wanted to wake up to that smile.

      "Cas?" Dean asked, "Can I tell you something?" He was ready to let out everything, he couldn't work with the horses with feelings bottled up inside of him that are begging to be let loose whenever Castiel was near. Castiel nodded. "Of course. You can tell me anything." And it was true. Castiel already felt like they had known each other for years. "I-I really like you," Dean said, looking down to the dirt, not wanting to make eye contact. His blush reddened to almost dark red. Castiel smiled. "I like you too." Dean took in a deep breath, "Like, I love you." Dean knew for sure he was going to get rejected. Castiel probably wasn't gay like his brother. No way. "I've known you a few hours but I would be happy to see where things could go." "I would too," Dean said, smiling. He asked if Castiel wanted to go on the trails instead of walking around the arena. Just as he finished, Sam's black ford rolled into the driveway and Sam popped out with arms around Gabriel's waist. The couple waved to their brothers before heading inside. "I guess Gabriel has given up on hiding it from me," Castiel said in amusement as they headed back to the stables. "Sam my man," Dean said as he walked Impala to a hitching post with water, he tied her up and let her drink. Castiel struggled to get off and Dean helped him, tying Mary next to Impala and the mare immediately began to drink the water. "They need rest if you want to go on the trails later. Wild horses roam in the forest in hiding. You know that Impala was a thoroughbred mustang I found in the forest while taking Sam for a ride? He was riding Jessica and I was riding Sam Jr. as he liked to call him," Dean leaned against the fence, "You might find a wild horse you want. We can tame it, but we mostly let them free in the pasture before taming them. They're young and full of spirit and energy." Castiel nodded.

   "I'm curious about how all the horses got their names but I'm sure that's a lot of stories and it will take time." "Yeah, it'll take a lot of time," Dean chuckled, watching the mares drink together. He looked for when Impala lifted her head up and didn't put it down, meaning she was done. He untied her and Mary, since Mary just finished aswell, and led them over. Castiel mounting Mary perfectly and Dean mounting Impala. "So, there are two trails, one leads to a waterfall and the other leads to a meadow. Which one would you like to go on?" Castiel thought for a moment. "The waterfall sounds really nice. We can do the other another day." "Okay, waterfall it is," Dean said, trotting Impala over to the trail entrance, grabbing a lantern incase they were out in the woods until dark. "Stay close to me," Dean said, "And listen for growls and roars, if you hear any, please tell me. That means a mountain lion is watching us." Castiel did stay close, a little more on edge at that. "And what do we do if one of us hears a mountain lion? What do we do if we are being watched?" "Walk back, never run. The mountain lion will always go after ones that seem to threaten it. If you just walk away, and don't communicate or give it any reason to attack, we'll be fine," Dean said, remembering when a mountain lion stalked Impala but never attacked her. Castiel nodded. He was scared he could do exactly what he was told my to when he was frightened. That was a terrible habit he had. Impala nickered to Mary and Mary trotted up beside her, the mares nickering to each other as if they were talking. "Ugh, women," Dean said as the mares continued their conversation. Castiel chuckled. "I think it's sweet. I wish I had a friend as close as these two seem to be." "They just talk a whole lot. When I'm giving lessons while riding Impala and another girl is riding Mary, Mary tried to follow Impala and mess up the lesson," Dean said, patting Impala gently on her neck. "I never really had friends growing up, I was homeschooled so I could take care of the horses as well as learn. Sam grew up the same way too." "At least you had Sam and the horses. I wasn't homeschooled. I just faded into the background. When I was in high school, the closest thing I had to friends was a bee hive that had set itself up on the rave outside my window. Isn't that sad?" "Yeah, but you have Gabriel. You have a brother, even though he can be an asshole sometimes, like he was to me when I found him with Sam," Dean said, chuckling.

       Two hours past and the sun was starting to lower in the sky. Dean smelled moisture and heard the sounds of the small rapids. "We're almost there," he said. Castiel smiled. "I didn't always have Gabriel," he said after a while. "Why didn't ya?" Dean asked as they neared the waterfall, the sounds of water falling loud. "Gabriel's a few years older than me. Just as I got into high school, he left for college. When that flopped, he started his own business. I barely heard from him for years. But when I needed to get away from home, his door was wide open." "Well, at least he's still there for ya," Dean said. He slowed Impala to a stop as the waterfall came into view. The sun was very low in the sky, creating a canvas of oranges and reds. He dismounted and Castiel dismounted, both boys heading over to the waterfall and sitting down beside the river. Dean waited for the sun to completely set and the stars to rise up into the pitch black sky before pulling Castiel towards him, turning away from the boy nervously. Castiel met Dean's eyes. It seemed like the perfect moment and he closed the space between them, kissing him softly. It felt perfect. Dean's eyes widened at the kiss but he slowly fell into it, kissing back. He pulled away and stared into Castiel's eyes, blue shimmering from the stars light above. They stayed at the waterfall for an hour, conversing about each other's lives. Dean told Castiel it was time to head back and the boys mounted their horses and walked back to the stable. Castiel was the happiest he had been in months, one thing he had not expected when he had left his home this morning. Dean and Castiel walked back to the stable side by side. Dean stopped at he sign to put the lantern back, then trotted to the stable.

     After bedding down the horses, they left the stable to their rightful sleeping areas. Dean felt bad that Castiel had to sleep in the bunkhouse but thought it was for the best after walking by Sam's bedroom and yelling to the boys to shut up and go to sleep. Castiel had never slept in the same bed as anyone but tonight, he felt lonely. He felt like someone else should be sleeping with him. It took him hours to fall asleep, tossing and turning. He was woken at the crack of dawn, no one seeming to take his lack of sleep into consideration. Dean woke up and made himself some toast before heading over to the bunkhouse. He knocked on the door, asking for permission to come in. Castiel was still face down in bed when he heard the knock on the door, letting out a grunt of acknowledgement and permission. "Hey, Cas, sorry for leaving ya here last night, our brothers were up to 'something'," Dean explained as he walked into the room. He sat down beside Castiel and stroked the boy's hair. "I don't need to know," Castiel said, not opening his eyes. "Get up, there's work to be done," Dean said, getting up, "There's breakfast inside the house if you want some." Dean went to the stable to fill the horses' feed bags. Castiel sighed, getting up with a groan. He got dressed slowly and made his way to the house for breakfast. Sam and Gabriel were in the kitchen, conversing with each other while drinking coffee. Gabriel saw Castiel walk in and he waved, "Hey, Castiel." Castiel was not a morning person. He gave Gabriel a hello before making some coffee. He turned back once it was made. "So, what happened to wanting your own space? I thought that was why you said I should come here." "Well, I wanted space with Samsquatch here," He said, pointing to Sam who was drinking his coffee. Sam waved and rubbed the top of Gabriel's head. "As if I would have interrupted you." Castiel shrugged. Gabriel laughed and stood on his tippy toes to kiss Sam before heading over to the couch and sat on it. Castiel watched his brother. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Why? Because, I was ready to tell you yet, I figured Dean was a good choice for you. And I guess he was. That's why I sent you here," Gabe said from the couch. Sam rubbed the back of his neck and walked over, sitting beside Gabriel. "You sent me here to set me up with someone?" Sure, he did get along and there was the kiss at the waterfall but there was no way Gabriel would know about that. "Yeah, you needed a break and needed to settle down with someone," Gabe said, turning on the TV. "And we ain't spying on ya so we don't know what's going on. But the behavior between you two clearly says you got together. "You dropped me off yesterday. I think it's too soon for me to have gotten with anyone." "Oh yeah? Well, the way Dean went to your bunk first than the horses like usual means something is going on," Sam said as Dean walked through the front door. "What are you three talking about?" He asked. "Our brothers think they are detective enough to take you waking me up for breakfast as a sign we are in a relationship." "They have caught onto something, I always feed the horses first in the morning," Dean said, shooting a glare at his brother. Castiel smiled in amusement, sipping at his coffee. Dean walked over to his brother and whispered something into his ear. "Great," Sam responded and got up, going to put his empty coffee mug in the sink. Dean kissed Castiel before leaving for the stable. Castiel looked at Sam in confusion. "What did he say?" "That you two got together last night," Sam said, chuckling. Gabri got up and put down his mug, "Congratulations, Castiel, you got yourself a boyfriend!" "I'm not sure a kiss counts as a relationship. I said I was willing to try but that's still not really a relationship." Sam told Gabriel he was leaving for Lucifer's pen. Gabriel nodded and looked at Castiel, "Still, I'd like to see how you two work out."


	3. The Foaling And How To Wash A Horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica's going into labor, and the entire ranch is with her 24/7. And Dean shows Castiel how to wash a horse.

    Gabriel heard a loud whinny and looked outside to see Sam running into the stable, Dean following behind him. "Come on!" Gabriel said as he headed to the stable. He saw Sam running into Jessica's stall, "She's going into labor!" Castiel followed his brother, looking unsure of himself. So much commotion and he had no idea what to do. Gabriel ran into the stall to see Sam at Jessica's rear while Dean was at her front, calming her the best he can. Sam saw two legs pop out and he said in a calm manner, "Come on, Jessica, you can do it." Castiel looked into the stall, not entering for fear he would just get in the way. He didn't know what he was doing. He could just watch the others. Then, Jessica whinnied loudly and the other horses responded, trying to give her comfort through the birthing. Sam saw the nose of the foal, either a snip or blaze. "Come on, Jess, they're almost out." Castiel couldn't see much from his angle. He had never seen anything give birth, especially not a horse. He didn't know if things were going well or if they were going bad. Then the head popped out, and out came the rest of the body. It was a colt. Chestnut coat, four white socks, and a blaze. An exact replica of Sam. Sam nearly started to cry at the foal's appearance. "So, what's his name?" Gabriel asked. "Sammy, no other name," Sam said, hugging the foal gently. Castiel smiled warmly. The foal would be safe because Castiel had ensured the stall was safe. Sam kissed Gabriel softly as Sammy stood up, looking for his mother's milk. Dean helped lead the foal and Sammy start suckling. Dean walked over and kissed Castiel passionately. "Thank you for foal proofing the stall," he said as he pulled away. Castiel could only give a wordless nod. He had not been expecting a kiss like that from Dean.

      Dean smiled as a tear sneakily left his eye. Jensen, Misha, and Jared ran over to see what the commotion was, only smiling and wagging their tails at the sight of the newborn foal. Sam and Gabriel walked out of the stall but never left the stable, only watching Sammy. Castiel stayed with Dean, watching their brothers. "You would think it was their actual child," he said in amusement. "Sam loves horses so much, you'd think every horse his child," Dean said. His brother was watching Sammy carefully, not leaving as if he left something bad would happen. Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel's waist and Gabriel gave him a thumbs up. "I didn't expect this to happen so soon. You said this week but I wasn't expecting it to be the day after I got here." "Well, you don't know when that foal wants to come out," Dean said, "We had one foal born in the dead of night." "I'm not surprised. Humans are born all hours of the day. I assume most animals are the same." Dean turned away when Sam kissed Gabriel, "Okay." He headed to the arena where Lucifer was staring at him. Dean still was scared of Lucifer and he backed away, fear clear in his face.

      Castiel looked confused as he followed. "What's wrong?" "You know how I said something about an accident with Lucifer?" Dean asked, not breaking eye contact with the Anglo Arab. Castiel thought back and shook his head. "I must have missed that." "Well, you see, he attacked my brother, kicked Sam right in the head, full force. Sam had severe head trauma and was in a coma for six months," Dean asked, remembering when he saw Sam fall to the ground unconscious after Lucifer went wild on him, "But Sam dealt with it, he works with horses like Lucifer. He knows he might die." "But you haven't gotten over it?" "No, it could happen again, and Sam could die," Dean said as Lucifer snorted at him and walked to the other side of his pen. Castiel looked at the horse. "Sam knows the risks he takes. And any horse could do it. Would you be afraid of Mary if she randomly decided to do something like that?" "I would, I'm actually scared of every horse here, because most are mustangs," Dean replied, walking back to the stable. Castiel followed him back. He didn't make further comment. Sam and Gabriel were still staring at the foal. Dean smiled and got Impala out, clipping in her lead rope. He led her out side and she immediately whinnied to Adam, the gelding looking up from his grazing. Dean rolled his eyes and hooked Impala to a bath stall. "She's a dirty girl, hasn't had a bath in a while." Castiel nodded. "I'm guessing this is where you show me how to wash horses?" "Yeah," Dean said, grabbing the hose. "Start from the feet up and avoid the horse's head." He tossed the hose under Impala to Castiel before he grabbed the bucket of washing tools from under the blanket rack beside him and took out the shampoo needed. Castiel assumed he was meant to be learning on the job then. The hose was on so he started at the feet. Dean grabbed a bottle of color intensifying shampoo and poured it over Impala's white foot before dabbing it on her stripe. He handed Castiel a bottle of shampoo to start with when he was done. Castiel started lathering the shampoo on the horse, a little uneasy so close to her legs after what Dean had told him. "Good girl, Impala," Dean said, scratching her behind her ears. He grabbed some mane and tail wash and started soaping up her mane.

      She raised her head up high when Sam brought out Michael, as if to say, "Look at the treatment I'm getting." Michael snorted at her. Castiel worked efficiently, getting the job done as quick as he could with his lack of experience. "You're doing great," Dean said as he began to soap up Impala, "We'll polish her hooves later after she's dry." Dean grabbed a comb and started combing out Impala's mane, finding about ten thousand knots. Castiel focused more on Dean then he did his job. Impala swished her tail back and forth at the attention she's getting. Dean treated her like the queen of England. Castiel finally finished his part. Impala turned her head to nudge Castiel, as if to say, 'thank you.' Dean finished up his part of the job and unhitched Impala, leading her to the pasture where he let her go. Castiel smiled. "I like her." Dean chuckled, putting his arm around Castiel's waist, "She likes anybody who gives her attention like you did." "I have plenty of attention to give." Dean kissed Castiel's cheek, watching as Impala tried to dry herself off.


	4. Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did someone ask for smut?

"What else can we do?" Castiel asked. "Spend quality time together," Dean said. Castiel smiled, "I like that idea." Dean kissed Castiel softly, wrapping his arms around his waist. Castiel kissed back softly. Dean pulled away, smirking, "How about we take this somewhere else?" Castiel nodded. "I'd like that." Dean led Castiel to the mansion like house he and Sam lived in and led him to his room, locking the door behind them. Dean smirked before pushing Cas onto the bed. Castiel looked up at Dean with a small smile. Dean climbed on top of the other male, kissing down his neck as he unbuttoned his shirt. Castiel made quick work of Dean's shirt. Dean smirked and started pulling down Castiel's pants. Castiel grew impatient, pulling Dean into a deep kiss. Dean lapped at Castiel's mouth for entry, rubbing Castiel's growing erection. Castiel let him in. Dean explored Castiel's mouth, battling his tongue for dominance. He then grabbed Castiel's erection and started stroking it. Castiel moaned, kissing him hungrily. Dean pulled away to kiss down Castiel's neck, sucking and biting the skin to create a hickey. Dean started stroking Castiel faster. Castiel thrust up into the strokes. Dean stopped when Castiel was on the brink of orgasm, smirking down as he grabbed a bottle of lube and poured some onto his dick. He stroked it, spreading the lube all around it. Castiel whined when Dean stopped. Dean poured some into his hand and spread it around Castiel's entrance, wanting him to be prepared. Then, he pushed into Castiel. Castiel moaned loudly, hands on Dean and pulling him closer. Dean pushed into the tightness and started thrusting, trying to find Castiel's prostrate. Castiel's eyes slid shut as Dean found it. Dean smirked and slammed into it, continuing to thrust into that spot as he groaned. Castiel groaned as he got so close. Dean felt his orgasm creep closer and closer, "Fuck, Cas, I'm close." "So am I. Please, I'm so close." Dean thrusted and groaned until he came, spilling his load into Castiel. He rode out his orgasm, continuing to thrust inside Castiel. Castiel came moments later. Dean groaned and panted as he slowed to a stop. Castiel looked up at him breathlessly. "I love you, Cas," he said, nuzzling Castiel. "I love you too." Dean got up and heard Sam knock on the door, "You two okay?" Dean walked over to the door and said, "Leave us alone, Sammy." Castiel watched Dean with a small smile. Dean sighed, "My brother does not understand personal moments." "Yeah. He will definitely be good with my brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, rushed smut. Hate me if you must. Please! Feel free to write spinoffs or past events about something mentioned in the story, and feel free to draw fanart, but remember to give me credit! Later! ;)


	5. A Death At The Stable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couples were having a good time when death unexpectedly comes their way.

  1.       Dean chuckles and gets dressed, "The tack ain't going to wash itself." Castiel groaned. "I don't want to get up." "Fine, don't get up," Dean said, walking over to kiss Castiel's forehead. Castiel smiled. "I won't," he murmured. Dean laughed before heading out to the stable, grabbing Michael's tack to wash. Castiel was quite content to bunch himself up in Dean's blankets and go back to sleep. Sam was lunging Adam with Gabriel on his back while Dean carried out Michael's tack, setting it on a saddle rack. Castiel slept for hours, passed out on Dean's bed with only the sheets covering him. Gabriel moved with Adam's stride, not even sitting in a saddle or holding onto a bridle. Gabriel smirked, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." Castiel eventually got up, heading off to find Dean. Dean laughed and grabbed the sponge and shampoo, wetting it and covering it with soap. He then proceeded at wash off the dried dirt on the saddle. Castiel came up beside Dean. "What are you doing?" "Cleaning the tack," Dean said. Castiel nodded. "Do you wanna help?" Dean asked, continuing to scrub. "I can help, sure." Dean handed Castiel a bridle. "There are sponges in the bucket." Castiel grabbed a wet sponge, starting to clean it. Sam led Adam over, the gelding finished with his lunging. Gabriel was latched onto Sam's arm. Castiel smiled at them. "Did you have fun?" "Yep," Gabriel said, "Got to ride a horse bare back and reinless." He nodded. "Sounds fun." Sam led Adam to the pasture, letting him run. His leg was better, that's for sure. Sam then went inside to check on Sammy. Castiel worked slowly but thoroughly on cleaning. Dean was cleaning the girth, scrubbing off all of the dirt. Eventually Castiel finished. Dean patted him on his back, putting everything up. What they didn't know is that this happiness isn't going to last. Castiel smiled at him. "What now?" "Not that much work to do today, except that Sam needs to tame Raphael. He said he's doing that tomorrow." "I thought it was all work on a farm. No downtime." "Hey, even we need breaks," Dean said, "Or we won't survive well." Castiel nodded. "Makes sense." Sam and Gabriel walked over. "I'm starving, wanna go out?" Gabriel asked. "Sounds good," he said with a nod. The gang went to a country restaurant, it was full of barbecue. Castiel order a burger and fries, sticking to old habits. Gabriel ordered a barbecue sandwich, "It's really good." Castiel shrugged. "my burger is fine for me." The waitress came out with their food, handing each their meal. Castiel started eating. It was delicious. Dean was chowing down some ribs. Castiel finished first, sipping on his drink. Dean finished his ribs, waiting for Sam and Gabriel to finish with their dinner. Castiel drained his drink. They conversed a little before heading back. They chatted happily the whole way back. The couples went to the house and got to their respective rooms.
  2.      Castiel got changed before going to bed. Dean climbed in with him, wrapping his arms around Castiel. Castiel smiled softly. Dean kissed the side of his head, "I love you." "I love you too." Dean kissed him before falling asleep. Castiel fell asleep too. Sam had left the house early to take care of Raphael. Dean was sleeping well until he heard Gabriel shriek. Castiel woke at the noise, getting up. He was confused and startled and still half asleep. Dean got dressed and hurried outside, only to see Lucifer fighting off Raphael. He saw blood and looked into the pen to see Sam on the ground, motionless. Blood was pooling around his head and he told Gabriel to call 911. Castiel followed Dean out, only tugging an overcoat over his pyjamas. He froze when he saw what was wrong. Dean held Sam's head, checking for the injury. He had a gash in his head, and you could see the fractured skull underneath. He started to cry. He heard sirens and saw the ambulance speed into the driveway. The EMTs came out with a stretcher and loaded Sam onto it. The other three rode with him, Dean holding onto Sam's hand. Castiel stayed with Gabriel, seeing how shaken his brother was. Gabriel cried into Castiel's shoulder. Castiel held him close. They got Sam to the emergency room, the three having to wait. They waited in the waiting room when a nurse called Dean over. He walked back, face saddened. Castiel still hadn't left Gabriel, though his eyes stayed on Dean. "Sam's, in a coma," Dean said, "We're able to go see him now." Castiel nodded, standing and helping Gabriel up. Gabriel limped to Sam's room, collapsing next to him and crying into the bed. Castiel stayed in the doorway. "Sam wake up," Gabriel sobbed, "Wake up!" Castiel looked at Dean. "Do they know when he will wake up?" "That's not a when, that's a if," Dean said, looking down. Castiel moved over to his side. Gabriel was yelling for Sam to wake up. Castiel rested a hand on his brothers shoulder. "Yelling won't make him wake up." Gabriel sobbed, clutching Sam's hand. Castiel squeezed his shoulder. Gabriel looked up at him, cheeks stained with tears. Castiel looked at him sadly. Sam stayed that way for five months when they told Dean Sam couldn't stay on life support anymore. His injury had gotten too severe. He told everybody about it. Castiel had taken Gabriel to his home in the city. He was worse at the farm so this was the only place. When Dean came, Castiel intercepted him so he couldn't get to Gabriel just yet. "How is he?" "They're taking him off life support," Dean said sadly, "His injury got too severe." Castiel frowned. "Isn't there more they can do?" "No, Sam's being taken off life support. The injury to his brain got too severe." Castiel looked down. "I'm sorry, I didn't want them to. They're giving us the chance to be there as they take him off," Dean said, turning to Gabriel. Castiel looked at Gabriel. "I thought you were still in bed." "I heard everything, are they really going to let Sam die?" Castiel nodded sadly. Gabriel started to sob, "I want to see Sam!" "We can go now." Castiel watched them sadly. Gabriel started to cry and sob, watching as they unhooked Sam. He watched the lines of the heart monitor go up and down, until they stopped and it was just a line. Gabriel cried and sobbed loudly. Dean started to cry aswell. Castiel held on tight to Dean. Dean cried, tears streaming down his cheeks as he walked over to his little brother, kissing his forehead. "Goodnight, Sammy," He said, sobbing.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if I made you cry. I'm sorry.


	6. The Breaking Of Gabriel Novak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel can't bear to live without Sam, and has gone suicidal and insane. Can Castiel and Dean save him in time?

     Castiel felt weak. He couldn't  imagine how Dean and Gabriel were feeling. Gabriel cried into Dean's chest and Dean cried into Gabriel's hair. Castiel felt weak. They had a funeral three days later, all of their families gathered for the funeral. Of course people were sad, but Gabriel was hit the worst. He lost the only person who he felt understood him. And he tore himself up about it. Castiel stayed with Gabriel, only leaving when he had to get food for them. Gabriel took the opportunity when Castiel was gone to either hang himself, cut, overdose, or drown. Castiel never left for long, always getting back in time to stop Gabriel from doing something irreversible. A lot of the time he had to call a hospital and get him to the ER. Gabriel always asked why. He was fully alone. Sam was everything to him. Everything. He could never be replaced. Never. It hurt to see his brother like this. He was trying to keep his brother alive and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't work because that would mean leaving Gabriel alone for hours. Gabriel had once found Dean's pistol and had it pointed to his head, knowing he would be dead within a second. Castiel had found him with barely a moment to spare. As he yanked it away, it fired and a bullet buried itself in the wall. He tossed it aside, pulling Gabriel into his arms and breaking down. He nearly lost his brother and not for the first time this week. It was taking a toll on both of them. Gabriel always wondered why he was still alive. He was truly alone. Without Sam, he had no life to live. He was beaten when growing up, Castiel was the favorite and he was beaten by their father. Their kind, soft mother took Castiel and left Gabriel with their abusive father. Castiel hugged Gabriel tightly. "Don't leave me," he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "What's the point?" Gabriel sobbed, "I'm alone. You knew how much Sam meant to me, you knew!" "I can't pretend to understand what you're going through. But Sam wouldn't want this. You're not alone. You have me." "I want him back! I want Sam back! Why does death take everybody we love from us! Why!" He sobbed and cried into Castiel's shoulders. "It's unfair, I know. But that makes us hold on tighter to the people we still have." Gabriel shook his head and pushed Castiel away, reaching for the gun. Castiel grabbed gun, emptying it of bullets. "Don't you dare. Would you have wanted Sam to kill himself if it was the other way around?" Castiel grabbed gun, emptying it of bullets. "Don't you dare. Would you have wanted Sam to kill himself if it was the other way around?" "Sam wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. I don't want you to hurt yourself." Gabriel cried into Castiel's shoulder, letting it all out. Castiel held him close, tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry!" He sobbed. "We can get you help. You can speak to someone professional." Gabriel didn't answer, just cried and sobbed. Castiel held him close. Gabriel slowly fell asleep, comforted by his brother.

  Castiel stayed where he was, sitting on the floor with his brother. Dean walked in and sat beside them, pulling them into a hug. "Another moment of silence for Sam. And for Gabriel." Castiel looked over at him, wiping his cheeks. Dean hung his head low, "Sam knew the risks. He told me when he got into the job that he will die young." "Please, don't leave your guns lying around," Castiel said softly, pointing at the gun and the scattered bullets. "I nearly lost Gabriel." Dean looked at it, "It was in a safe, I probably left it out by accident. I'm so sorry." "Please be more careful next time." "I'm sorry, Castiel," Dean said. "I got here in time. It's okay now." "No, it's my fault. Gabriel could've been dead because of me," Dean kissed Castiel before heading outside to brush Impala down. Castiel watched Dean From the window. Dean was slacking in his work, not being able to look around the stable and seeing Sam everywhere. Castiel found his brother a psychologist to talk to. In the hour Gabriel was speaking to someone, he did small jobs, trying to get enough for them to eat that week. Gabriel had a hard time when speaking, breaking into tears a lot as he tried to explained everything. Castiel would get back just as Gabriel came out, an extra fifty dollars in his wallet. It was enough for Gabriel to eat and Castiel was happy as long as his brother ate. Gabriel ate very little though, passing it off as he wasn't hungry. He had lost his appetite. Castiel made sure Gabriel ate enough, hating himself for using Sam as a guilt tactic. It wasn't fair but it was the only thing that got him to eat. Gabriel felt horrible, crying in his bedroom, being silent. He commonly went to go see Sammy, only to cry in the growing colt's coat. Castiel ate even less than Gabriel did, making sure the other had enough before spending his last few dollars on something for himself. He was losing weight fast. After Gabriel saw what was happening, he forced Castiel to eat, not wanting to lose him aswell. Castiel resisted. If he ate more, Gabriel would get less. They didn't have much money and it all went to food for his brother. Gabriel stopped eating all together, wanting Castiel to have some food as he was already dying.

     Dean commonly sold the foals (except Sammy) and went as far as selling the two ponies, Gabriel and Crowley, and the black Arabian mare, Ruby. He got enough money to have food for everyone, but the stable was a mess without Sam. Castiel found the best option was to split the food down the middle. That way Gabriel couldn't complain about him not eating. Gabriel missed the ponies but started to eat. He would cry at night, claiming he still felt Sam's arm around him. He even went as close as putting his hand on top of the spot Sam rested his hand. Castiel stayed with his brother at night, not leaving his side until he was deep in sleep. Then he would go out for a few hours and work more. He knew Gabriel was always a deep sleeper, even now. It took hours for Gabriel to fall asleep, not being used to sleeping in an empty bed. He eventually fell asleep, but woke from nightmares screaming. Castiel was always back before dawn, just when the screaming started. He ran to his brothers room to be there for him. Gabriel always screamed, Dean having to help comfort him at times. Castiel was always back before dawn. Sometimes Dean would be with Gabriel, sometimes not. Gabriel was a mess. He wasn't happy anymore, he lost emotion completely. A lot of people said he was mad, even his psychologist. Castiel refused to turn Gabriel in to an asylum, even if it was the best place for him. They were family and he refused to lose his brother. Gabriel was commonly found talking to himself. He claimed he was talking to Sam, getting responses from the dead man. Castiel would sit on the end of the bed, watching his brother sadly. He knew he should get Gabriel real help but he was scared. Dean had asylums calling, knowing what should be done with Gabriel. He was a threat now, lashing out at anyone who insulted 'Sam.' Castiel would stay with Gabriel, usually making sure they stayed in his room. He didn't say anything about Sam unless prompted. He could pretend it was all okay. Gabriel was now officially insane. He acted like a child and depended on everyone he met. Castiel kept him inside the house, just keeping him occupied. It was painful to see his older brother reduced to this. He wasn't allowed near society or the horses, in fear of hurting someone. He giggled a lot when talking to 'Sam.' Dean officially had enough and tried to reason with Castiel, Gabriel couldn't stay. Castiel refused. He couldn't lose Gabriel. He had already lost most of him but he clung to what was left. Gabriel ran over, "Aren't you going to play with me?" Castiel nodded. "Of course," he said weakly. "Just a minute, okay?" Gabriel smiled before going back to play with his toy horses and coloring books. Castiel watched him before looking back at Dean. "I can't lose him," he whispered. "We're going to have to give him up," Dean said, shaking his head. "He's the only family I have left. I can't lose him." "What if he runs away? He's crazy enough to!" Dean said, worried for their safety. "I've got it under control. As long as he stays inside and I spend enough time with him, maybe he will get past this." "I don't think he will." "I don't want to lose him." "Cas. Gabriel's gone." Castiel shook his head. "He's still in there. I just have to keep trying," he said weakly. Dean sighed and went back to the stable. "Can you color with me?" Gabriel said smiling innocently, holding up his horse coloring book. Castiel went and sat beside him. "Of course," he said with a small nod. Gabriel smiled and got out his colors, picking a mare and her foal. Castiel coloured thoughtlessly. Gabriel wasn't a threat. Why did people think that? Gabriel smiled and giggled like a two year old, when he was really 26. Castiel didn't say anything. He was lost in thought. "How would you feel somewhere else," he murmured, not really thinking it as a question. He tried to think of how his older brother would act if things were the opposite way around. Would Gabriel have sent him away? Gabriel cocked his head in confusion, "Hm?" Castiel looked over at him. "Sorry. Just thinking out loud." As he thought, he realised how stupid it was to be keeping Gabriel here when there were people out there who could really help. Gabriel nuzzled into Castiel's chest. Castiel wrapped an arm around him. He smiled at Castiel, "I love you!" "I love you too. I will always do what is best for you." Gabriel started to draw. And he was very good. He had drawn Sam a whole lot, accompanied by horses and other people. Castiel didn't interrupt. Gabriel felt tired and started to wobble, "I'm tired." "You should go to bed then," Castiel said, helping him up. Gabriel nodded and climbed under the soft covers, waiting for Castiel to tuck him in. Castiel smiled sadly, tucking him in.

   Gabriel grabbed his plush corgi, Richard, and fell asleep. Castiel stayed with him for a bit before heading to the kitchen. He intended on making food but the phone rang. He hesitated when he saw the now familiar number of one of the asylums enquiring about Gabriel. Dean usually handled it but he probably couldn't hear it from outside. He answered hesitantly. "Hello?" Gabriel woke up at the sound easily, since he wasn't technically asleep yet. He cocked his head, staring at Castiel. Castiel didn't notice Gabriel as he spoke on the phone. There were questions about how Gabriel was, whether they had reconsidered on handing him over, what else could be done. It was a bit overwhelming and he cut the call short, setting it down and just sitting where he was, back against the pantry door. "Cassie," he asked, "What was that?" Castiel looked up at Gabriel. "It was nothing. Wrong number," he lied, standing back up slowly. Gabriel nodded and headed back to his bed, climbing in and going to sleep. Castiel made some food, trying to forget the call and his panic. Those people didn't really care. They thought Gabriel was dangerous and wanted to lock him up. Castiel could help him. Gabriel had terrible temper tantrums, the reason they wanted to lock him up. Dean never told Castiel what happened. Gabriel had lunged at him with scissors. Castiel didn't believe it when they said he was violent. All he saw was a child's mind stuck in his brothers body. A child who coloured and wanted to be tucked in and read stories at night. Dean finally decided to tell him, "Cas? May I speak to you?" Castiel looked up from his food. He had been sitting there for ten minutes and had barely touched his food. "You don't need to ask." "Gabriel is violent," he said, "He was to me." Castiel shook his head. "He's practically a kid. He wouldn't hurt a fly." "He lunged at me I with a pair of scissors when he got mad." "He wouldn't," Castiel said weakly. "He would never hurt anyone." "He would've killed me if I hadn't dodged. You see he isn't allowed around sharp objects anymore." Castiel looked down. "I don't know what to do," he whispered. "Give him up," Dean said, "Before he kills someone or himself." Castiel felt tears burn his eyes. "They don't care about him. They just want to lock him away. I want to help him, not treat him like some criminal." "You can't help him! He's gone completely mad! He's lost everything!" "He's still my brother. I have to try. He's helped me through dark patches. I owe him this much." "I don't think he's ever coming back." "You don't know that. He's still in there. He's just withdrawn on himself. I just have to help him come back." Dean said once again, "I don't think he's ever coming back," before leaving. Castiel made his way to Gabriel's room, abandoning his food. He stood in the doorway, watching his brother. He looked peaceful. He was scared to think of how an asylum would treat him.


	7. Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel Novak has been admitted into an asylum, but, is it really the best choice for him?

Gabriel shifted softly in his sleep before he shot awake, tears streaming down his face. Castiel went to him, sitting beside him on the bed. He started to scream and cry. Castiel wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. "It's okay." He cried into Castiel's shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head, wanting to keep it to himself. "Dean wants to send you away. If you talk to me about things that upset you, he can't send you away." Gabriel looked scared, "I don't wanna leave! I don't wanna leave!" "I don't want you to leave either. So just tell me why you are upset." "Sam's gone, but I still can feel him wherever I go. I felt him cradling me in my sleep." "I'm sorry," he whispered. He didn't know what else to say. "Why did you threaten Dean with scissors?" "He insulted Sam! No one who insults Sam lives to see another day!" "But you said yourself, Sam is gone." "He's dead, but alive. I can see him." Gabriel was insane. Castiel shook his head. "He's not here, Gabriel." "He is here!" Gabriel said, grabbing Castiel by the throat. Castiel's eyes went wide. "Gabriel stop," he said, trying to fight back to urge to shove Gabriel away. He feared it would make this worse. But he was seeing it. Seeing just what Dean had said. Gabriel was dangerous. Gabriel tightened his grip of Castiel's neck, cutting off his airways. Dean ran in and grabbed Gabriel, trying to pull him off. Castiel fell to the floor when Gabriel finally released him as they were forced apart. He put a hand to his sore throat, looking up at Dean and Gabriel. Gabriel was fighting in Dean's grip, grabbing a pencil from the desk and stabbing Dean with it. Castiel got to his feet, snatching the pencil and grabbing Gabriel's hands tightly. Dean felt a few drops of blood run down his arm. Gabriel yelled at Castiel and fought back the best he could. Castiel held strong, not releasing Gabriel until he stopped fighting. Once Gabriel knew he couldn't win, he stopped and fell to the floor, crying softly. Dean looked to Castiel, holding his bleeding arm, "He's dangerous and shouldn't be here." 

Castiel turned away. Tears were dripping down his face though he didn't know when he had started crying. "I don't know where he should go," he whimpered. "There's an asylum downtown, it's the closest," Dean said as he patched up his arm. "But is it the best for him? I don't want people who will just lock him away and ignore him. I want people who will try and help." "The best way to find out is to give him to them." Castiel nodded weakly. "Okay. We can take him there." Gabriel was not fighting back and he let himself be taken to the asylum. The doctors took him and told them they were going to put him in an isolated padded cell since he was aggressive. Castiel would visit once a week, whether to actually see him or check the doctors were actually taking care of him. When he got home, he retreated to his room with an ice pack for his bruised throat. While Gabriel had the mind of an aggressive child, he had the physical strength of a grown man. Gabriel commonly spoke to his 'Sam.' He would attack the doctors when they said 'Sam' wasn't there. Dean's arm had a a puncture wound in it from the pencil. Castiel only really left his room to eat, pee and visit Gabriel. Otherwise he was a recluse.   
The asylum had called about an 'accident' Gabriel had. Castiel headed to the asylum, fearing the worst. He didn't tell Dean yet. The doctors had casts on, bandages covered almost every inch of their skin. One doctor told him Gabriel went full animal on them. He killed two doctors in the process of his rage. Castiel looked at nothing while the doctor explained. "I want to talk to him." "We can't let you." "I only need a few minutes. If things get bad you can get me out. He's my brother." "We're sorry, we can't let you go see him." "I saw him yesterday. He won't attack me." "He attacked you," one doctor said, "From reports from your boyfriend." "I just won't say anything about Sam. That's why he has been lashing out." The doctors then agreed to let him in. Gabriel was sitting in the corner, eyes widened and mouth bloodied. Castiel stayed by the doorway. "Gabriel?" He jerked his head to look at him. His face was bloodied, blood stained around his mouth, and his eyes were wide. He looked like a serial killer. Castiel took a shaky breath. "How are you feeling?" "Stay away from me," Gabriel said as he backed into the corner. "I'm not coming any closer. I will never hurt you, Gabriel." Gabriel was breathing heavily, he turned away from Castiel. "I'm just here to talk. Please talk to me." "What do you want?" Gabriel said weakly. "I want to take care of my brother." "I have no brother," he said, staring at the floor. "You do. We are family, Gabriel." Gabriel stood up and moved towards him, his mouth opening to show blood stained teeth. Castiel didn't move, watching him. "I'm not going to hurt you. Please don't hurt me." Then his eyes went wide and he started to cry, "C-Cas?" Castiel nodded. "It's me. I promise." "Why?" He asked, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Why what?" "Why did you leave me here?" He sounded afraid. "You stabbed Dean and hurt me. It was dangerous not to bring you here. Now I see it is dangerous for you to be anywhere." "No! They turned me into this! They tested on me," Gabriel said, "Like I was a rat." Castiel's eyes narrowed. "What did they do to you, Gabriel?" "They had needles of stuff. Some green liquid, some red liquid, and they just stuck it in me. You know you should never trust asylums to take care of their patients. I attacked to keep myself safe." Castiel clenched his jaw. He had told Dean they should have done research on different asylums first. "I want to go home," Gabriel said, "I want to go home." "Let me talk to Dean. I have my phone so I will stay right here." Gabriel nodded and sank to the floor. Castiel pulled his phone out of his pocket, ringing Dean. Dean picked up his phone, "Yeah Cas?" "We need to move Gabriel. Home, somewhere better, anywhere but where he is." "Why?" "They've been running experiments on him with chemicals and then they wondered why he snapped." "Get him back here," Dean said. "How do i get him out? They'll be more determined to keep him here and say he is dangerous." "Expose them." "I'll try." The doctors came back and Gabriel ran to the corner screaming, "Leave me alone!" Castiel glared at the doctors. "I'm taking him home. You will not stop me from taking care of him. I do a better job than you do." They pushed Castiel aside and grabbed Gabriel's arm. Gabriel screamed and thrashed in the doctors' holds. Castiel lunged at a doctor, forcing the doctor away. "Let him go!" Gabriel was crying and sobbing, "Let me go." Two other doctors had to hold Castiel as they took a needle out and pushed it into Gabriel's main vein. Gabriel slowly fell asleep. "What did you do," Castiel demanded. "We're letting you take him home, this is just to avoid anymore deaths of doctors and nurses." "You didn't need to use another needle." "We were told to." "He would have been fine in the car." "I said we were told to." "By whom?" "The woman who runs the asylum." "Is she the one who authorised his treatment?" "Yes, she was the one." They handed Gabriel over to Castiel. Castiel glared before taking Gabriel out to the car. He got her in the back seat and started driving home. Dean was waiting at the driveway for Castiel. Castiel parked the car, getting out. "They knocked him out before we could leave." Gabriel woke and started to panic. Castiel opened the back door. Gabriel stared at Dean before getting out slowly. Castiel watched him. "Your room is almost exactly how you left it." Gabriel looked around, seeing Sam at every corner. He started to tear up again. Castiel wrapped an arm around him, leading him inside. Gabriel laid down on his bed, constantly feeling the place Sam used to lay. Castiel sat down beside him on the bed. "No more doctors. I don't care what it takes, I will help you. No more doctors." 

Gabriel was out of it, "Sam." Castiel watched him sadly. Gabriel sobbed into the pillow, Sam's scent still on it. Castiel left him, leaving the door ajar. He went back downstairs to Dean. Dean was not there, he was at Sam's grave. He was talking to the grave and putting down some flowers. Castiel knew Dean probably wanted to be alone. So he made some lunch for them all. Castiel left Gabriel a sandwich in a plate before making his way out with Dean's lunch. Dean was still at the grave when Castiel showed up. But when Gabriel wasn't with him, "Where's Gabe?" "He's resting. I've left him lunch if he gets up." Dean took a deep breath and took the sandwich, "Thanks." "I should go back now, keep an eye on him. I'll see you when you get home." Dean nodded. Castiel headed back to the house.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuing RP I'm doing with a friend so it might take some time to type it up and RP at the same time.


End file.
